Cold Brownie

“I feel like eating a brownie. Cold.”

“Oh, you feel like eating a brownie?”

(after hours had passed and I had fallen asleep, failing to respond to that question…)

“Reply, cold brownie.”


Reply, cold brownie.
You’ve been called
to be served sizzling hot on a platter
to these couple souls in love.
Then warm their hearts,
with your melting hot chocolate sauce.
What a beautiful coming together—
the hot pours over the cold,
the cold laps up the hot.
Cold brownie,
Sizzling hot on a cold platter.

PS. Apologies to the poetic soul of the late Mr. Neruda. Any resemblance to your Elemental Odes is unintentional. I would obviously not dare. 🙂

The Irresponsible Stereotyping Of LGBT Community In Mainstream Media

(Written for YKA, original write-up published here)

“If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?” • Warren Ellis

If I ask you to imagine a homosexual person right now, what kind of a description will you come up with?

SOTY

Chances are, you’re going to end up thinking of a delicate looking, effeminate ‘male’ with soft movements and “girly” gestures, and most likely he’s going to be impeccably well — dressed and well- groomed. He frowns at wardrobe disasters and is a bigger fashion diva than you will ever be. You know, the fashion —designer type. (Remember how the gay Patrick scores over the fashion-goddess Lacey every time in Charlie Sheen’s Anger Management?)

Alternatively, if you’re a girl like me who’s got her heart broken by Matt Dallas, you might think of a devastatingly handsome looking — man, who’s got all his charms set, but to your horror, doesn’t respond to female attention (because he is perhaps feeling like that for another guy himself): whatever might be the case, almost always, a homosexual person is surrounded by a bunch of homophobes (or fake homophobes) who believe they’re their biggest nightmare. (“God, stop acting gay! Get away from me!“)

After numerous fight-scenes in movies following the use of a certain word “faggot” , or the playing out of the classic trope of a homosexual man playing the heroine’s best-friend in movies (a la Rupert Everett in My Best Friend’s Wedding), we can cross our hearts and ascertain that queer characters have finally arrived in mainstream media.

However, portraying these characters in popular media comes with its baggage — it’s not enough to simply use such characters for the sake of adding entertainment value. What’s really important is to portray them correctly. Considering that the LGBT community is a marginalized section of society that faces enormous social stigma in many developing (also developed) countries, it is absolutely imperative that the media which serves as a channel across people of different beliefs and faiths does its best to push forward their interests, and represent them as they are . People who are entrusted with the job of creating queer characters for the screen shoulder a very heavy responsibility; to strike a balance between entertainment and truthfulness…

…At which, the larger section of them, fail miserably. Merely churning out a laughable queer character is not only irresponsible, but also, unfortunately, the bitter truth about mainstream media today. The LGBT community is given the treatment of an outcast group in our popular culture. So much so, that If we’re asked to imagine a homosexual individual, our minds lead us directly to one of the stereotypical stock images of queer characters we’ve seen in television serials and movies.

Massive generalisation and an overdose of stock homosexual characters have distorted our own sense of reality to the extent that we begin to subconsciously filter people around us through a lens that was created for us, and not by us.

Let us take the recent case of Tiger Shroff — his androgynous looks have made him appealing to both women and men, but for the very same reason, there are jokes being created over his sexuality.

We’ve perhaps been over fed the idea of a queer man as an effeminate character, which might be true of a certain group of these individuals, but not the whole lot of them.

Could you tell just by looking at Ricky Martin that he’s gay? For all I know, all my friends, including myself, regarded him as one from the community of (heterosexual) alpha-males! When the news of him being gay came about, most of us reacted with a sigh, “But he looked so manly!” which just goes on to prove that there is no one prototype of a homosexual man. But if Ricky Martin was to be a character in a mainstream Bollywood flick, he would have been played by Abhishek Bachchan, perpetually shrieking and batting his eyelids. The lacuna between reality and representation, thus, is vast and unfilled.

Abhishek-Bachchan

What’s worse is that the damage done doesn’t end here. A graver aspect of such a demeaning representation is in the use of our language, of terms related to the queer community.

Katy Perry released a song in 2007, titled “Ur So Gay” with the chorus line going- “You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys…” The tone of the song is such that it employs the concept of being “gay” as a horrible insult, the label of an emasculate man. At this point, being gay stops dealing with the concept of a sexual preference altogether. It instead becomes a synonym for unmanliness where Homophobia is glorified and homophobic men are considered “real men”, and homosexuals, pitiable. In effect, the mainstream media has taken the simple case of a sexual orientation and preference, and made it something of a funny business.

It has conditioned us to look for signs of “gay behaviour”. What is gay behaviour but a media created term? By promoting myths about homosexuality, it has ostracised the community, so it cannot be assimilated within our own. One such embodiment of stereotypical queer characters is Rishi Kapoor playing the gay school principal in Student of the Year. If we were to prepare a checklist of seemingly gay characteristics, Rishi Kapoor’s act in the movie would tick off every single one of them. And that is not a good thing.

Moving on to the lesbians of the LGBT community, situations are graver. Quoting from the blog, Equal Writers, Feminism and Gender issues in Princeton University, “It’s still somewhat of a novelty to see lesbian characters in films and television shows, and when we do see lesbian characters, we see them as lesbian characters, not characters who happen to be lesbians.” That is to say, if gay men are portrayed in the mainstream channels for the purpose of amusement and laughter, lesbians are props for adding the sex appeal and glamour central to popular media. A lesbian movie sells because of the steamy and passionate love-making scenes in it, and what essentially happens in the process is utter objectification of these women as promiscuous sex-slaves.

In India, attempts have been made to portray Lesbianism explicitly on screen (read Deepa Mehta’s Fire), but they’ve been met with strong criticism of right-wing political parties and flak from conservative audiences. Thereon, the theme has been subtly explored in various mainstream movies by daring directors like Madhur Bhandarkar and Abhishek Chaubey, though the travails of a homosexual female are hardly explored; or even touched, for that matter.

Ours is a country that’s stuck neck-deep in a confusion of ideology. We don’t want to give up on our traditional belief system, yet we want to modernize and become open-minded to issues that challenge our values. God knows how that is supposed to be achieved, but for starters, we could begin by respecting our differences. Sample if you wake up one day to find the world order has changed, and it is not “normal” for a girl to have a crush on a boy anymore, or for men and women to be married. You’ll feel as if something as natural as your sexuality is being taken away from you. And who are people to govern your personal life anyway, isn’t it?

That’s exactly how people from the “other” community feel as well. If it’s hard for us to even imagine a situation like that, consider how difficult it must be for the queer community to live with a reality like that. How dreadful and offensive it must be for them to not even have a right to express their love and sexuality, just because it doesn’t fall in the proper “world order.”

Let’s give this a thought. Let’s not derive amusement from the media stereotyping of the queer community, because remember, one day you might wake up to find a ‘new normal’, and the odds might not be in your favour then. Let us respect every individual’s right to a life of their choice. Let people be more than just their gender. And let us, for once, stop making homosexuality a funny media business.

Stereotype breaking:
-Every gay person is not a “designertype”: I’m talking Alexander The Great and Harvey Milk.

– Every lesbian female is not a promiscuous, drug addict with unstable relationships and career: Haven’t you seen Ellen DeGeneres rocking her prime-time show, and don’t you know she’s in a happy marriage?

– Every transgender is not a loud and awkward person: if your idea of a transgender is still Bobby Darling, you need to grow up.

Why It Was Justified For Me To Be Threatened By The Prospect Of A Government School Education

Giving free uniform and money to buy books to students every term is not enough. While these things will ensure every student goes to school on the first day to collect his free gifts, it is only inclusive and quality teaching that will retain them in class.

Initiatives by the CSR branches of many big firms and NGOs have taken it upon themselves to fill in the gaps left by our faulty education system ( or a lack thereof) in our youth’s struggle to advent to a better standard of living. Programmes like Teach India, Make a Difference and Teach for India train enthusiastic volunteers, across all age groups, to empower the country’s disadvantaged youth by giving them a medium of expression — using English.

(Written for YKA, original write-up published   here)

Just as I sit down to write this, all my school memories, till the point where I used to attend classes, come rushing back to me. Let us sample a typical school classroom.

Enter: Teacher.
The entire class rises in one swift movement, straightens their skirts (girls) and trousers (boys) and wishes the teacher a rather musical GOOOOD MORNIIIIING MAAAM, with their pitch rising in one great crescendo.

Next, the teacher fusses over attendance, fills in the class Performa (even before starting to teach), asks her favourite student to read the chapter from the point where she left off in the last class…while at the perpendicular end of the classroom, the backbenchers resume making paper planes and crumpling balls of paper to throw at each other, play pen fights and book cricket and scribble their lovers’ names on the last page of their notebook.

For a long time now, this was thought to be the only way to conduct classes. Here’s some news though: times are changing.

The youth of our country, disappointing as it may be for most members of the older generation, has big, powerful, and ambitious dreams. In the small and dingy classroom of an NGO located in East Delhi, where I teach spoken English to a class of 12 students, I’ve learnt what they say about the most pristine lotus blooming in muddy waters is not just a pretty thing to say, after all.

As I enter the class, I see my students already in their places, craning their necks towards the door, anticipating their teacher to walk in any moment. And just as I enter, “Gooood Afternoon, ma’am!” My class breaks into an elongated choral greeting that echoes the enthusiasm on their faces — a thirst to absorb all knowledge that comes their way, as if it’s their only shot at an education.

It’s a little unsettling, though, to see my students, all of them older than me, call me “ma’am”, and give me the respect I am used to giving my much older, learned teachers. My students comprise of a very colourful spectrum of people and professions — housewives (who double up as Sanskrit tuition teachers), correspondence students and school pass outs that haven’t yet made plans of further studies. But when they come to their English for Employability class, all of them share a common goal, which is to learn to “speak” English.

For my first exercise in class, I asked them why they wanted to learn English and what were their expectations from this course. It was also supposed to be the classic ice-breaker, and I hoped to get to know them a little better through the activity. But it did so much more than just break ice. It broke pre-conceived notions in my head, and tugged at certain psychological strings so hard, that I’m writing this here.

The learners in my class came up with answers that not only amazed me, but also made me feel so incredibly heartened that I couldn’t stop beaming at the chart of paper on which they listed their aspirations:
“I want to learn English…
for personality development,
for job,
for future,
for interview in MNC,
improve living condition,
because English is an international language so it is very important,
for confidence”.

I put up the chart on the wall facing the class. The difference, in the class in my school where I was a student, and this one where I’m teaching was so pronounced at this point. Most students in my class in school came from decent/wealthy backgrounds. They could afford to attend a public school and have the best exposure and infrastructure at their disposal, and coming from them, such weighty words would make sense. But for these people, who’d studied in Government schools, spent all their lives in single-room houses and had nothing boast-worthy for motivation, these words are lined with sincerity — and hope for a better life.

However, the major difference between a traditional school classroom and what a TeachIndia classroom(a Times of India initiative to teach ‘English for Employability’ to youth in the age group 18-32) encourages and trains its volunteers to undertake, is in the classroom approach — the former is teacher centred (or teacher led) and the latter, learner-centred.

A teacher led classroom is characterized by high TTT (teacher talking time), low STT (student talking time), and the emphasis is on rote learning. In a learner centred classroom, the teacher dons the role of a facilitator in the learning process, and becomes a part of it, rather standing apart from it. Teachers use a variety of elicitation and grouping techniques to accommodate every kind of student to make them autonomous learners, and develop a “can do” attitude in them.

This is the kind of teaching we need in our schools, especially our Government run schools, which are the only hope of an education for people of limited means. But reality presents a completely different picture. A grim one and one that needs immediate attention.

When I was a little girl and I misbehaved, my mother would threaten me to get me admitted to the government school close to my place. It was a threatening prospect for me back then, because our domestic help’s daughter used to study in that school and would tell me stories of how her teacher would make her sweep the floor of the classroom and make her bring her tea and refreshments every day. Now that I’ve grown up, to my discontentment, I know that she isn’t the only one who suffered. In the name of education, what’s being imparted in these “schools” is a message of hopelessness. Government school teachers are so callous in their attitude towards teaching that it discourages students from attending classes. The first thing a teacher is supposed to do is set an example. After failing to do that, matters are made worse by the fact that they do nothing to monitor their students’ learning or even adhere to a standard curriculum prescribed for schools. Far from adopting a student—centered approach, these teachers haven’t even begun to teach traditionally.

I recently caught up with a girl student of the same school looking particularly downtrodden after the day. I tried to strike a conversation with her, and after a lot of initial beating about the bush, she told me she studies in class six. She didn’t know her age. She couldn’t write her own name. In Hindi or in English. I asked her if she knew her ABCs, and here’s what she said, “A B C D E H… nahi, F… bass itna hi aata hai.” (her H and F sounded like some new invented letters)

Can there be a more unfortunate evidence of the low quality of teaching, and a complete lack of monitoring in Government schools? If students of sixth class stutter to hold a pen in their hands and write the alphabet, I think there is a serious problem that the government needs to address in our education system. How could such a student even be promoted to sixth class? No wonder school graduates from such institutions are deemed “unfit for employment”.

Giving free uniform and money to buy books to students every term is not enough. While these things will ensure every student goes to school on the first day to collect his free gifts, it is only inclusive and quality teaching that will retain them in class.

Initiatives by the CSR branches of many big firms and NGOs have taken it upon themselves to fill in the gaps left by our faulty education system ( or a lack thereof) in our youth’s struggle to advent to a better standard of living. Programmes like Teach India, Make a Difference and Teach for India train enthusiastic volunteers, across all age groups, to empower the country’s disadvantaged youth by giving them a medium of expression — using English.

The mere knowledge of spoken English can make a huge difference to these lives. A man assisting at a roadside dhaba can get a job as a Team Leader at a leading fast — food chain like KFC or CCD, or in the Hospitality and Tourism sector. The key is to enable these people to enter the system through entry-level jobs so that they get access to a world-class infrastructure and lucrative employment opportunities later on.

That said, we need to keep in mind that the reach of these programmes, no matter how vast, can be outdone only by a concerted effort by the Government. The alarm’s ringing and there’s no scope of pressing the snooze button. The youth needs its education, when will the government wake up?

Wimpy Kid from Hell

The Pakistan government’s current mood seems to be like that of the kid from hell who demands to be fed ice – cream as bribe for eating his beans.

No ice cream, no beans.

No Kashmir talk, no terrorism talk.

How cute. Except, the NSA-level engagement that Pakistan has chickened out of threatens the lives of thousands of people not only in the Kashmir valley, but nation-over. What with flimsy lies and outright denial by the Pakistan state even in the face of irrefutable evidence of Dawood’s presence in Karachi (http://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/dawood-ibrahim-on-nsa-talks-agenda-india-has-proof-he-lives-in-karachi/article1-1382846.aspx), it has to be given credit for outdoing itself yet again and inventing scenarios that make all possible steps in the direction of a resolution to the “terror problem” impossible to take.

Why does Pakistan balk at the prospect of discussing terrorism only, and insists on discussing, rather, the lucrative, sweet-smelling candy that is Kashmir? Such an insistence to meet the Hurriyat leaders from Kashmir to defeat the entire proposed purpose of the impending talk  indicates only too clearly what Pakistan considers important and pressing and how terrorism, a concern that’s ought to be addressed immediately, is, according to them, only a blame game that India is playing with Pakistan.

The NSA-level talks were being looked forward to by the millions of Indians who are rightfully seeking answers and explanations towards the relentless attacks by Pakistani militants and army on the country’s civilians, besides security forces. But now Pakistan turns its back on the Ufa commitment between the two countries’ respective Prime Ministers to make terrorism the agenda of the impending discussion.

I don’t know what it will take for Islamabad to refrain from such feckless behaviour, but it sure does make my toes curl when I view the whole series of events spanning the recent months gone by and realise there is absolutely no sense of pressing concern in either of the governments (much, much lesser in Pakistan’s) to diffuse the terror infiltrating from the border and also from within the country.

We really do not have so many days to lose in trying to reach a consensus. People are dying each day, and here is Pakistan, refusing to eat his beans.

Narendra Modi – Reprised

Originally dated: 28-09-2013

In 2013, I had something to say about Narendra Modi. It’s 2015, and I’m all admiration for the long-sightedness I possessed two years ago. 😉

——————————————————————————

What can be said about a man whose biography on Wikipedia says, ‘the neutrality of this article is disputed’?

  That the man must be Narendra Modi. 

Are you asking why? Well, Narendra Modi is so much Godliness packed into a man, that any word that depreciates his stature as a Saint in the Wikipedia article MUST, in fact, be disputed. Or taken off.

VIBRANT GUJARAT!

Mankind needs a hero to worship every now and then.  It had been a long time since the appearance of such a hero in India, until, in 1950, God heard our prayers and sent us Modi. (He meets the criteria maxime for becoming PM : he’s successfully crossed his sixties, and so have his ideas.)

Lord Narendra Modi , our touted prime  minister – to – be is  the 11234th incarnation of Lord Vishnu, the preserver of our universe, and will put an end to all of the Hindu nation’s sufferings.

He will convert the whole of India into the dream nation called Gujarat. There’ll be streams of milk, more butter on our toast,  and richer people for the poor to beg to.

Modi’s record tenure as Chief Minister  in Gujarat make him the unquestionable candidate for prime minister, as it was under his governance that Gujarat really transformed overnight into the hub of all economic prosperity in India. Almost suddenly, the sub-arid Gujarat started teeming with agricultural expansions, thanks to Modi’s well thought out infrastructural plans for irrigation and water conservation. His tenure saw the literacy rate of the state soaring, the power sector flourishing, and of course, Gujarat attaining THE record growth rate. While some of these changes are apparent to us, some are testified by statistics.

But what if the statistics are false or half – true? What if Gujarat has always been a fast – developing nation and Modi’s contribution to it is blown out of proportion?  It might be, there’s a good chance. But we have to get on with our lives, and the elections are nearing, so let’s continue Modi-phancying and assuming them all to be true. I heard Bihar and Tamil Nadu are actually trailing ahead of Gujarat in terms of that figure, what do we call it again? Growth rate figure, yes.  But my vote goes to Modi for his excellent PR and Marketing Machinery.  Just like in advertisements for fairness creams, they show already fair girls getting fairer, his marketing team only painted the rosy picture of the already wealthy getting wealthier. So what if the majority of our people live a sub – standard existence  ‘BPL’ ?  It’s the rich people who pay taxes at the end of the day, isn’t it ?

India’s in the doldrums as it is, let us at least be happy for Gujarat.

Since Lord Modi is also a very enthusiastic Hindutwa – propagator (what else do you expect products of the RSS to be?), his philosophy on nation – building is particularly very interesting. Now, obviously, Hinduism is the superior religion. It’s the Lord’s word. Only Modi can pull off the paradox of being a Hindu nationalist in a multi – cultural country like India. Perhaps the nation for him consists of Hindus exclusively. Perhaps he needs to realize what worked in Gujarat might not work for the rest of the country. Perhaps his dog ate the the page of his social sciences textbook where they talked about ‘Unity in Diversity’. But WHY  do we have to continuously talk about cultural integration in the country? Is Modi responsible

for that? No. Is our prime minister responsible for that? He’s supposed to be. But Modi is going to be Prime Minister.

Syntax error?

Hit Me Baby One More Time: When Ed Sheeran Made Music Better

Who can take an already-perfect song and make it better? Ed Sheeran.

This hit maker, besides having a string of chart-toppers himself, has over 30 covers of popular songs (compiled into a YouTube playlist by a generous Ed Sheeran fan, here, thank you!)  that he’s reworked in his own unique style and made them sound completely new, different , and I dare say, better.

Ed’s acoustic covers of these tracks go from Hozier to Cee-lo Greene, and from Adele to Oasis, and now, even Fetty Wap. (Applause, applause).

It seems like there’s precious little that this flame-haired artist cannot pull off (I wish the flame hair were gone, though. Blonde is his color.) with his unimaginable vocal talent. Here’s a selection of five of his best covers:

  1. Wonderwall – Oasis

 

Ed’s rendition of Wonderwall is a much mellower version of Oasis’s original 1995 release. The drastic difference in the mood of the two versions make Ed’s version sound almost like a new song.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l07cwNvZni8)

  1. Hit Me Baby One More Time – Britney Spears

Let’s just suffice to say, with this, Ed did the unthinkable.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFapUOfotuM)

  1. We Found Love – Rihanna

Who thought Rihanna’s pacey, spunky single could be transformed to this syrupy, honeyed – dream sequence? Ed makes miracles happens!

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=139&v=Lyv_u4pspTY)

  1. Someone Like You – Adele

Ed Sheeran took the beautiful Someone Like You, and instilled a whole new vibe to it. This one is a welcome variant of Adele’s Operatic original, and has fans swooning over it.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJu_eQCHRHI)

  1. Take me to Church – Hozier

Perhaps the best of the very best listed here, this version of Hozier’s Take Me to Church recorded for BBC Radio is soulful beyond measure.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOPKDYuUzyw)

And my absolute favourite, and Ed’s latest cover:

TRAP QUEEN!

The natural overflow of spunk in this cover is add-let’s add another add -addaddictive.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06koEdJiwZg)

The well-timed giggle, as Ed sings Trap Queen.
The well-timed giggle, as Ed sings Trap Queen.

(This was originally written for UE, and can be accessed here: http://www.universityexpress.co.in/delhiuniversity/2015/06/hit-me-baby-one-more-time-ed-sheeran-best-covers/)

Let’s Set the Tone!

Ideally, I wanted to write something of an ante-script to this post, but since that is only a highly desperate attempt at reversing a post-script, I’ll do nothing of the sort.

Or, maybe I just did?

That’s the very game I play at times.

I am laughing a beat-up laugh as I write this, thinking of the comic relief in the situation. The last post on this blog was on procrastination. It was almost exactly a year ago. How vain is this wisdom in a person that recognizes her lags but does absolutely nothing to overcome them. 🙂

SO, it’s been a year and I’m back (today, at least, who knows about tomorrow? Sigh.). And I’m back with Ed Sheeran. What could be a more auspicious note to “set the tone” with, than my current singing obsession?

Come on set the tone.
Come on set the tone.

Passion Vs. Procrastination



“pro·cras·ti·nate

  1.  pro·cras·ti·nat·edpro·cras·ti·nat·ingpro·cras·ti·nates

v.intr.

To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

v.tr.

To postpone or delay needlessly.”

Example and Usage: She was smart, but her constant procrastination led her to be late with almost every assignment.

 

The process of me getting to write this article wasn’t simple.

I procrastinated over it for hours (fine, days), thought of writing it at least 2345 times before finally sitting down to actually write it, and while opening my laptop (55 minutes ago)  I swore I’d go straight to writing this article.

What? Did I sound too ambitious?

Well, alright. I did a little Facebook, YouTube and Gmail. I also took 198 BuzzFeed Quizzes and IQ tests (with disappointing results) but then I’m finally here in my 2346th attempt. Pheww.

Trust procrastination to keep you from doing things on time. But what can we possibly do? Our hands are tied and I believe our mothers from the other generation are to blame. They drank some procrastination potion that is transferable to children and doesn’t affect the mother. And now it flows in our blood.

Nothing in the world seems absolutely urgent anymore. Just about nothing. And this isn’t an exaggeration. Except perhaps catching a flight or a train. I can bet there’s nothing other than that can make you pull the fourth gear on the highway of life.  And when there isn’t procrastination, there’s schizophrenia. Madness and rush. Like the apocalypse is coming and everything MUST be done right here, right now: So when life’s running constantly on the fourth gear, there’s no concept of slowing down at all.

So let’s welcome it, officially:  the Procrastination Revolution.

[DISCLAIMER: Any resemblance to a most unhelpful self-help book in the words to follow is deeply regretted and purely unintentional.]

Remember the three Ps (Peace) of life taught in Moral Science classes?  Once upon a time, they used to be Patience, Persistence, Perseverance, and today they  stand challenged (uncontested) by a new P– procrastination, that leads to a lack of all these three old school Ps.

To which I’d like to add my own P. Passion. Passion I think is the only antidote to the productivity – killing, joblessness inducing enemy P. But how do you make it live in these times when procrastination, not passion, is in the driver’s seat?

[By the way, since I’m being completely honest, I got distracted by an online shopping site here. Shoes on sale and all that, so you know how it goes…]

Speaking of which, isn’t it strange how passions can get lost in the mundane of life? Day by day, the same old routine. For some reason, an urge to comply with a social standard that requires people to have a job for them to be seen as something more than a waste of space. It is so easy to lose sight of your true calling in life, just because the mundane is so horrifyingly engaging. There’s always a train to catch, a call to make, an assignment to complete… no, passion can’t be pursued in haste. One moment of emptiness, and we feel unsettled. Because we’ve been made to believe that “thinking” is a waste of time and “doing” is what counts. Wouldn’t you rather be a machine then, who “does” the “doing”, but since it can’t “think”, it always ends up being controlled by a man?  [Procrastination isn’t healthy, but thinking is!]

You must seek your passion, worship it like it’s the only God that exists for you, and most importantly, it ought not be treated like a task or a destination – because that will make it mundane as well. It isn’t a journey from point A to point B on a footbridge. It is a ferocious river with tumultuous waters and dark clouds hovering over … it can rain any time, you can drown, but what is drowning for passion? Bliss.

[And if you haven’t found your passion yet, you will, soon.]

If I seem to lack alacrity in my words today, it’s because of the same curse of procrastination that has prevented me to put to words my honest soul since so long.

The biggest tragic-comic curve to this situation, however, is the fact that routine assumes more importance than passion. Things that are only activities to fill up space in your days reign supreme and your passion lies like a heap of dirty laundry in a dark corner of the room that gets your attention only when you run out of clothes to wear.

Lena Ford had  written,

“Keep the home fires burning,

Till your hearts are yearning.”

Whatever your passion is, however unconventional or as most people will call it — crazy – go ahead and do it because no one else is going to do it for you, and as told by someone whose wisdom I greatly admire, regret is nothing but a waste of time.

You must have heard of Arunachalam Muruganatham , the mastermind inventor who researched and persevered relentlessly to fulfill his dream of providing safe and affordable sanitation to the millions of women in his hometown, and eventually worldwide. His research was of such an unconventional nature, that it led his wife and kids to shun him out of embarrassment, but that did nothing to deter him. His passion enabled him to not let his objective get lost in the lack of faith that people scorned him with, and he turned out to be a victor, a messiah and an inspiration who is applauded by millions. See the man talk about his struggle himself here : https://www.ted.com/talks/arunachalam_muruganantham_how_i_started_a_sanitary_napkin_revolution

Shunned, abhorred and often discouraged, but Arunachal pursued his dream.

So should you.

How poetic does the vista of a little fire blazing inside you sound? Exceedingly!
The fire of passion that burns within me,

I ignite my many dreams with it… [Use this for a poem later, though]

But this also is the point where procrastination starts and the fact that every fire dies if it is not fanned is forgotten. If it is not fed, it burns out. And so will yours, if you don’t feed it with sincerity, commitment and diligence. It’s your passion and your fire: if nothing more, it’s your shot at an illuminating lifetime. Will you just let it blow out?

American Beauty : Starring the outcasts

 

In mathematics, one way to prove the validity of a theorem is by the method of contradiction.  For example, if we wish to prove the irrationality of the square root of two, we first assume it to be a rational number. As we work towards proving its rationality, we find ourselves inching closer to a conclusion that root 2, is in fact, not rational. And therefore, it must be irrational.

Somehow, proving anything by the method of contradiction didn’t make a lot of sense for me.

Till I watched American beauty.

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Made in the year 1999, American Beauty is an independent movie by the noted filmmaker Sam mendes, and writer Alan ball. This film is a heady cocktail of highly nuanced and powerful characters streaked with dark eccentricities: a  42- year old copywriter, Lester Burnham, who quits his job in an advertising firm to work at Mr. Smiley’s Fast Food Joint as a counter-boy,  a homophobic man, Frank Fitts, who is secretly gay and has a high-schooler son, Ricky Fitts  who’s a documentarian and the local drug supplier, Angela, an attractive cheerleader who has a new “boy toy” every weekend and yet, mysteriously remains a virgin, a real-estate professional wife, Carolyn Burnham, who ultimately kills her husband Lester, and Jane –  daughter to Lester and Carolyn, who’s disgusted by her father’s attraction towards her best friend her mother mocking her as if she deliberately tries to look ugly. American Beauty, hence, with it’s starcast of “freaks”, feels like a dream or delusion, because what unfolds throughout its 120 minutes is surreal and disorienting to a great degree.  It is simply not possible to watch American Beauty  and not be moved by the complexity of its plot and characters while wondering… which one of these am I?

 

 

When I’d completed watching the movie and gotten over the brain-lag it gave me, I launched an attempt to place its characters in one or the other definition of ‘normal’ that I knew. What compelled me to do this seemingly pointless task was a complete lack of any “normal”, stereotypical  American character in the movie  that I could pin down and take as a reference to understand the  oddities in other characters. In the world of American Beauty, peculiar seemed to be the trend, and non-conformity, tradition. The beauty of the movie lies in the craft with which it highlights the nature of the “outcasts” without stereotyping them and makes a generalized categorisation impossible.  Could I simply say Ricky was the spoilt teenager who’d fallen into the drug habit? I couldn’t, because there was so much more to him. He had a passion for videography, and the kind of things that he filmed on his camera made him admirable, in my eyes.

In one of the most memorable scenes in the movie, Ricky  shows  Jane what he calls, “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever filmed.” It is a clip of a plastc bag floating above the sidewalk on a windy day. Ricky’s camera follows it as the wind carries it in a circle, sometimes making it suddenly dart high in the air and sometimes letting it float gently to the ground. That is when he says and I quote,

“It was one of those days when it’s a minute away from snowing. And there’s this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? And this bag was just dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That’s the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid. Ever.””Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it…and my heart is going to cave in.”

All our notions of how drug dealers are supposed to be the bad guys are thwarted when he says those lines, and we realize he has the potential to observe the sublime in a way  which is rare. Part of Ricky’s behaviour is due to a psychological disorder he suffers from, called the schizotypal personality disorder, which is characterised by  a need for social isolation, anxiety in social situations, and often an unconventional set of beliefs. People with this disorder feel extreme discomfort with maintaining close relationships with people, and  they often do not. But ricky develops a very deep affection for Lester’s daughter jane, who he feels, is extraordinary, and pays no attention at all to Angela, who is the epitome of beauty as Jane knows it. Ricky’s distorted concept and perception of beauty is intriguing.   a plastic bag dancing in the wind, a dead bird, and a dying woman, to him, is beautiful to be filmed. Towards the end of the movie when Lester is shot, Ricky simply stares at him for many seconds and smiles for a reaction.

 

Most of the   movies that we see  have one, or probably a couple of characters that are designed to be eccentric and keep the entertainment alive at their expense, but here comes American Beauty,    where no personality is black or white… and every character we meet is a unique shade of grey. It’s almost as if their differences form the basis of their similarity.  American Beauty is a space where every character appears to be sedated by a different drug, yet when the drug starts to show effect, the symptoms are similar. Angela, the doe eyed cheerleader and Jane’s supposed best friend, boasts of sleeping with a new guy every week and divulges details of her sexual encounters to Angela keenly, only to get panicky when  Lester  begins to undress her and reveal to him that she’s never “done it before”.  For Lester Burnham, this is deeply disenchanting for since the moment he saw Angela for the first time, he’d been obsessing over her and fantasing about her like a lusty 18 year old – wherever lester spots angela, he unplugs from his surroundings and goes into a world where there’s just him, angela, and well, rose petals. A man like Lester, insurmountably portrayed by Kevin Spacey, seemingly enjoys the “good life”, with a good job and a wife obsessed with projecting an image of “success”, but he is essentially in the middle of what  can be called a mid-life crisis.  His job as a copywriter has begun to bore him, his wife has lost the vivacious personality that he fell in love with, and  it is under these circumstances that Angela enters Lester’s life to take him back to his days of yore.  Instead of making attempts to save his job that is slated for a ruin, he decides to quit completely and work as a salesman for a fast food joint:  A job that is ideally suited for 18-year olds looking for quick money as they complete their education to get  a job like lester had and quit. Lester starts snooping around his daughter’s room whenever she spends a night at their place, and overhears their conversation through the keyhole. He hears Angela  tell Jane that she finds her  father quite handsome and that if he worked out a little he’d look so much better, and the very next moment he’s seen dusting off his dumbbells in the basement. Angela brings in Lester’s life a new wave of passion and excitement – a reason for self-improvement. As we see Lester do all that he can to woo Angela, even at the cost of hurting his daughter’s feelings, it’s difficult to drink down on the idea as a constant, nagging feeling of it being fundamentally and morally wrong hovers around us. What can be right about a middle aged man trying to behave like he’s a teenager high on his hormones? The movie is replete with imagery that invoke a sense of mystery and guilty pleasure – rose petals splattering everywhere from the bosom of Angela, for example.

Lester burnham, through his life and death, shows us that Life’s too short to be lived any way but yours – even if it means living as an outcast all our lives.  Throughout the movie, the viewer is offered a seat inside the head of Lester Burnham as he narrates the story of his life that, to a spectator, could be the tale of any modern American Household. Through Lester, the audience sees what these successful families try their best to hide – their unstable relationships, and a perpetual battle to come to terms with their ‘freakishness’. It takes us dangerously close to the outcasts society scorns over and disproves of and teaches us how outcasts are nothing but shades in the personalities of seemingly very normal people themselves. What would you do, if you see your wife drive past you with her boyfriend, as you prepare her fast-food order at a take-away counter? You’d be shocked. Angered, perhaps speechless, but definitely  not all smiles, right? Unless you want to get rid of her, and pursue with all your concentration, your daughter’s 16-year old cheerleader friend?

 

Mendes’ movie has so many outcasts , in fact, that it has become my handbook on such characters.  Many of the characters’ problems stem from their failure to develop or maintain a coherent identity. Lester finds happiness by separating his sense of self-worth from his job and his home life. He learns that even though his boss and wife treat him as though he’s worthless, that doesn’t mean that he is. Angela believes that her identity is founded entirely on her sexuality. She fears being “ordinary” because she has confused ordinariness with physical plainness, and has confused physical plainness with having no identity. Carolyn Burnham is one of the film’s most tragic characters because she has literally replaced her identity as a person with a collection of material things. Carolyn Burnham has a perfect suit, an expensive couch, and a new car, but not the zest for life she once had. place them all together, and pasted the label of ‘tested ok’ on their foreheads. Metaphorically, of course.’

Because this movie does what no other movie i have seen could do ,normalising the outcast, and telling us that all our ideas of nothing but notional, I cannot label any of the characters as complete outcasts. And hence, by the method of contradiction I used in the beginning, I can  conclude, very safely indeed,  that they’re normal people.

Let’s buy some love, shall we?

Everywhere I look these days, I find myself in Phoebe’s shoes as she sees Monica and Chandler through the window in their “act”. I scream “My eyes! My eyes!” loudly (in my head), and I cringe, for there’s only so much I can do.

(For anyone who hasn’t seen the Friends episode, here’s the link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rgk_qTc_7AI
Also, hope the temperature under the rock was comfortable.)

Yes, it’s Valentine’s week, couples indulging in excessive amounts of PDA is a very expected sight, and so I should probably not cringe. But when I shift my attention from the hand-holders and huggers to the surroundings, I sink deeper in my imaginary bean bag and bury my head in my hands.

There are hearts. Hearts dangling from rooftops of malls, in gift shops, in clothes shops, in restaurants. They’re made of fur, plastic, paper, chocolate, sometimes dipped in chocolate, and every other material imaginable. Of course, except muscle. The heart that’s inside of us is, in fact, made of muscle. But hey, that ventricled – pumping machine doesn’t rake in the moolah the cute “<3” does. Yes, I’m talking money here. In matters of the heart, I’ve taken the audacious step and brought in money.

But Before I really get to the bit I am out to achieve through this article, I must make a confession-disclaimer.

I am a diehard romantic, but can somehow not stomach cheesiness exploding all around me.  Cringing at people while they display affection publicly is not me being a killjoy: all I really want is for those couples to, well, get a room. I know there are urges, but brother, they have to be kept in check. A mall isn’t an airport or a railway station, your loved one isn’t leaving you for six months, so you can really keep the flimsy clinging together at bay. On the other hand, my favourite genre of movies IS rom-com, so you can trust me for not being a judgemental freak.

Now that I’ve made my rather long disclaimer, I can talk about the love wave everyone seems to be riding high on.  Valentine’s day. It’s all over the place. It has infiltrated our media so much, that it’s impossible for any person to not feel the “love in the air”, only unfortunately, that love is not the warm, fuzzy feeling it’s supposed to be. In the run up to d-day(V-day), there is a week of teddy bears, chocolates, proposals and so many things that urge you to go and empty your pockets inside-out onto an Archie’s counter. Gestures of love are cute, but the hype surrounding Valentine’s day is nothing short of brainwash. We are the target audience for big and small companies who seek to exploit teenagers with haywire hormones, and fool them into buying all sorts of ridiculously unnecessary things.

14th of February has become an obligation for every lover to express his/her love to their partner lavishly. It simply HAS to be accompanied by a token, bauble of love. The day is so commercialised that the entire mood of our city changes in the month of February. Restaurants come out with special menus, everything is suddenly heart-shaped, red begins to dominate and overpriced paraphernalia makes its way to the markets. And the funny thing is, we buy all of that. (See me cringing again?)

Marketing these days has become so intelligent that business houses have begun to acknowledge singles  as well and have started doling out special deals for them. A lot of people go date-less on Valentine’s day, and well, single or taken, customers are customers. They have to be… loved. So you get a complimentary drink if you’re single, a “cute teddy” for your girl if you are blessed enough to have one on your side, and who knows, there might b something in store if you visit accompanying your mum/grandmother too.

Quoting from a ZeeNews Report,

“ An industry body has valued the Valentine’s Day (V-Day) market in India at USD 27 million (Rs.15 billion) based on a survey involving 800 executives in major metros and 1,000 students from 150 educational institutions.” (http://zeenews.india.com/business/news/economy/valentines-day-market-in-india-pegged-at-rs-15-billion_70092.html)

Young people spend anything between a 100 to 50,000 rupees on valentine’s gifts. It’s almost as if a Valentine’s gift has become a validation of love.

I, however, have a request to make.

As you stand in the gift shop sifting through aisles of stuffed toys, I urge you to pause for just a moment and think. Why are you doing this? Your answers might range from, “Because it’s Valentine’s day and I want to impress her”, to “I have no idea why.”, but unless the answer you give yourself is “Because this piece of stuffed fabric is worth every penny I’m going to spend and brings longevity to my love life(not just for the next five days)” or “Because I’m obligated to give this Archie’s man some good business” or “because this is my upper limit of creativity”, OR “Because my girlfriend is a toddler/likes to talk to inanimate objects”, do not spend your, or your parent’s hard-earned money (money is always hard-earned, don’t tell me your dad’s a millionaire) on something you will buy because of social pressures. Big brands have very clever Marketing agents who know your vulnerability well, how about you give them a high five and tell them you know them too?

PS. Honestly, there are better things to do on Valentine’s day, that is, IF at all you believe one day out of a year’s abundance of 365 should be your day of love because it’s the world’s day of love. It’s not all about money. By all means, the discretion to spend your money the way you want lies solely with you, but avoiding  gimmicky marketing this time and investing time and energy on what you really, honestly want to do, is going to fill you up with so much love for your wisdom. And perhaps, me. 😀vday